My first born son is growing up so quickly. I want to hold on to him so tight yet i know I have to start letting go a bit. This is a tough season for my heart. Have I done enough? Has he forgotten my mistakes? Will he remember all I did right? Mostly, does he know I love him with all of my soul? I love all 5 of my children with all my heart!

Why punishment is not a demonstration of love

WHY PUNISHMENT is not a demonstration of LOVE 

Many good intentioned parents argue that to smack a child 'in love'/ 'in a controlled manner' is not abuse especially since love or prayer is shared with the child afterwards.

*When we remove the euphemisms and describe corporal punishment it is to hurt, shame, bully, intimidate, manipulate and humiliate someone young and little in order to control/enforce/punish/teach a lesson. 

If that sounds abusive it's because it is. 

*Introducing God as an advocate of pain and punishment is not best for a child's spiritual growth or sense of self-worth. I would imagine showing a child God's love and grace would be far more effective than punishment proving the child temporarily 'unworthy' of it. 

*When an adult uses punishment  (physical,emotional,psychological) as 'discipline' and describes it as 'loving' because affection is shown towards the child afterwards it only reinforces that the harm was purposeful, intentional, pre-meditated and 'deserved' and that 'might is right' and love and respect is conditional.  

*As we aim to show children true love we should try to not use any form of punishment as a means of control or retribution. It isn't easy and naturally we will mess up at times. That's why we ALL need grace! 

Love is far more powerful than fear. We can hold onto that when in doubt. 

*If we want our daughters and sons to choose safe healthy love for themselves we have to show them what that is! 

Growing up believing that pain or shame is inflicted out of love is not a healthy beginning.

 One has to wonder if that is why so many people tolerate domestic abuse. 

*Of course there ARE natural consequences for mistakes or bad choices made. I suppose consequence is a natural form of punishment at times which we can't prevent. But it isn't to be delivered at OUR hand. 

*We each have the power within us to choose how we handle life's knocks by either choosing right or wrong. Love or punishment. Children learn both best through example.

*Remember every situation with a child is an opportunity to model grace, humility and patience, truly connect and find a solution together. 

*Every single person, young and old make mistakes all the time. Children should be offered more grace not less! 

*Learning to choose right for ourselves is maturity. 

As parents we have to trust that in time through good example and unconditional love our children will make wise choices on their own.

*Home should be a haven in which a child is free to learn. 

*The person who catches us after a fall and loves us regardless is unforgettable! 

So is the one who shames and punishes us. 

As parents we get the opportunity to be THAT person for our children~ unforgettable! 

We choose what our legacy will be. 

*The good news is that we can choose daily to learn better and do better! 

Peaceful LOVE is ALWAYS better! 

THEY are almost always wrong.....

Growing up I remember adults telling me to enjoy my childhood because they would be the best years of my life, apparently being a grown-up was rough going. Thank goodness THEY were wrong!  I LOVE being an adult! Every day is a possible best day or at the very least a learning curve. 

When pregnant I was told on numerous occasions by parents to enjoy being childless because after a baby the figure, freedom and fun disappear! 

So pleased THEY were wrong again!

Children are the best fun! And worth everything we choose to give up in order to gain a much greater love. 

As a young mom I had doubts and many challenging times. The amount of poor advice received was mind boggling! I remember well the warnings to enjoy small children with their small problems because teenagers are big problems! The worst were the misleading instructions on how to secure authority over children by never allowing disobedience or defiance from the very start! No wonder THEY found teenagers big problems! 

I love love LOVE spending time with my three adolescent sons! We have soared, fallen, got up and will keep at it for as long as they need me. 

To be happy we have to stop believing ANYTHING pessimists say! 

If seeking advice look for it from those who actually love life despite the obstacles in their way. 

LIFE is BEAUTIFUL! It's what we make of it. Every season has it's pros and cons. Mistakes make us  braver, wiser, stronger! No matter what THEY say! It is about what YOU say! 

A positive grateful mind can change your days. 

Always hope! Always dream! Always love! Always believe! 

BOOK REVIEW & GIVEAWAY!! The Gentle Parent:Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline.

BOOK REVIEW & GIVEAWAY!! 

The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline 

I’m so excited to share the release of The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline, the third book in the Little Hearts Handbook series! The first reviews are in, and The Gentle Parent has already received 5-Star ratings and been called “food for a gentle parent’s soul” and “reassuring, relevant, and relatable for parents with children of all ages.

”The Parenting Review shared this about The Gentle Parent:

“Relaxed, Reassuring, Practical ~ Written by L.R. Knost, best-selling, award-winning author of ‘Two Thousand Kisses a Day’ and ‘Whispers Through Time,’ ‘The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline’ shares the simple secrets of a peaceful, happy home in the Three C’s of gentle discipline–Connection, Communication, and Cooperation. In her signature relaxed and poetic style, L.R. Knost gently guides parents through the steps of applying the Three C’s in real-life scenarios from tantrums to defiance to parenting a strong-willed child to healing a broken parent/child relationship. Practical and proven, this newest installment in the Little Hearts Handbook parenting series will be tucked into diaper bags, kept handy on nightstands, and shared with good friends for its research-backed, experience-based, and humor-rich insights, ideas, and inspiration.”

I LOVE all of LR Knost's books SO much. I am honored to share my review. 

'As a passionate child advocate and mother to 5 children aged 16,14, 11, 9 and 2 years; I am always researching child development and tools to better guide my family.  

If I could choose only ONE parenting book it would be a Little Heart's Book.
'The Gentle Parent' was food for my soul.

 If it had to be compared to an actual food it would be chocolate-tasting-avocado!! :)) Deliciously addictive but healthy and nutritious! '
'The Gentle Parent' was enjoyable reading that inspired my mother-heart and nourished my mind and soul.'

                                         ~Lelia Schott. (Synergy: gentle parenting resources.)  

In CELEBRATION we are GIVING AWAY one of LR Knost's BEST SELLERS! To be delivered to your door. Simply enter by liking Synergy:gentle parenting resources (www.facebook.com/AngelGentleParenting) and comment which book you would like to win. 
You may choose either 'Two Thousand Kisses A Day' OR 'Whispers Through Time'
Both share excellent foundations for gentle parenting. As a child advocate and mother I would recommend that every parent, teacher and child-minder read LR Knost.  

About the Author LR Knost

Best-selling parenting and children’s book author and mother of six, L.R.Knost, is an independent child development researcher and founder and director of the advocacy and consulting group, Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources. Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages and Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood are the first in her Little Hearts Handbooks series of parenting guides. The newest book in the series, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline was just released on November 1, 2013. Other works by this award-winning author include the children's picture books Petey’s Listening Ears, and the soon-to-be-released Grumpykins series for ages 2 to 6, which are humorous and engaging tools for parents, teachers, and caregivers to use in implementing gentle parenting techniques in their homes and schools.

To watch the trailer book ~
! http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/2013/10/31/the-gentle-parent-book-trailer-and-tour-schedule/ 


REMEMBER that you can get the 1ST copy of 
The Gentle Parenting Workshop for FREE today. 

DOWNLOAD IT HERE ~http://www.amazon.com/.../B00G7FDJR8/ref=redir_mdp_mo

I am looking forward to sharing quotes from The Gentle Parent every day this book tour and blessing someone with a treasured keep-sake from Little Hearts Books!  

Love Lelia. 

IF You perhaps..

❤I wrote this to honor Moms❤ 

IF you perhaps..

 

packed away your wonder bras for larger more practical cotton underwear and hung up your best 'jimmy choos' for  comfortable flat footwear

experienced extreme back pain, breast tenderness, nausea, heartburn leg cramps, aches and discomfort in parts of your body you were not aware of before

cried the first time you discovered a stretch mark but would do it all over again / stretched your heart so it was open to loving another woman's child as your own❤ 

felt an overpowering love grow inside of you for a face not yet seen

lay awake dreaming of what your child would look like, discovered it to be more perfectly beautiful than you ever imagined

love watching your child sleeping,

stay subconsciously listening despite the fact that you are exhausted

rested your head on a little chest to hear a precious heartbeat

rocked and swayed for hours, in a zombie state, just to keep your Baby peaceful

sat up in the dark all night trying to settle a little one, counting the hours you have left for sleeping

read favored books and sang rhymes tirelessly

listen endlessly to funny little stories you wish you wrote down,
laugh at the same old kids jokes

smell things a lot,

more than you did before! smell bottles, food, milk, bottoms, hair, linen and clothes :)

love the scent of your little child's sleepwear, tiny hands in your own, and warm morning breath on your face

confidently change really messy nappies,(even while calmly chatting on the phone)

wipe up snot, vomit, wee, poop, blood and sweat
and turn tears into smiles

tidy for hours only to have a messy home at the end of each day

make meals, wash and clean things constantly

can carry a toddler with one arm and groceries with the other while opening the door with your foot and hip :)

cried and laughed the first time your baby said Mama and a year later wished you had encouraged saying 'Daddy' more often ;)

message someone or make Facebook updates at a milestone :)

feel extreme anger and wild animal courage at the thought of anyone harming your Young!

listen to Barney on the way somewhere forgetting that you are alone in the car

sway in conversation only to realize you have no baby in your arms presently

cut your food into small pieces at a restaurant and then realize you are on a date with no kids

long for time alone, only to wonder what your little one is doing without you

sense trouble behind a closed door or in the eyes of your child

try your best to understand and correct without alienating.

have grown children who still call you when things go wrong or right! :)

felt your heart break as you prayed you could carry their burden or pain, soar with pride at their smallest and greatest achievements and explode with love at their precious existence

You must be a Mother!

And a wonderfully cherished one at that! !

-Lelia Schott
( a grateful Mommy) 

Lelia Schott is a child advocate and Mother to three sons and two daughters.

https://www.facebook.com/AngelGentleParenting ~Synergy: gentle parenting resources

 https://www.facebook.com/AngelLoveTreasures ~ baby and mother soothing calming products