Why punishment is not a demonstration of love

WHY PUNISHMENT is not a demonstration of LOVE 

Many good intentioned parents argue that to smack a child 'in love'/ 'in a controlled manner' is not abuse especially since love or prayer is shared with the child afterwards.

*When we remove the euphemisms and describe corporal punishment it is to hurt, shame, bully, intimidate, manipulate and humiliate someone young and little in order to control/enforce/punish/teach a lesson. 

If that sounds abusive it's because it is. 

*Introducing God as an advocate of pain and punishment is not best for a child's spiritual growth or sense of self-worth. I would imagine showing a child God's love and grace would be far more effective than punishment proving the child temporarily 'unworthy' of it. 

*When an adult uses punishment  (physical,emotional,psychological) as 'discipline' and describes it as 'loving' because affection is shown towards the child afterwards it only reinforces that the harm was purposeful, intentional, pre-meditated and 'deserved' and that 'might is right' and love and respect is conditional.  

*As we aim to show children true love we should try to not use any form of punishment as a means of control or retribution. It isn't easy and naturally we will mess up at times. That's why we ALL need grace! 

Love is far more powerful than fear. We can hold onto that when in doubt. 

*If we want our daughters and sons to choose safe healthy love for themselves we have to show them what that is! 

Growing up believing that pain or shame is inflicted out of love is not a healthy beginning.

 One has to wonder if that is why so many people tolerate domestic abuse. 

*Of course there ARE natural consequences for mistakes or bad choices made. I suppose consequence is a natural form of punishment at times which we can't prevent. But it isn't to be delivered at OUR hand. 

*We each have the power within us to choose how we handle life's knocks by either choosing right or wrong. Love or punishment. Children learn both best through example.

*Remember every situation with a child is an opportunity to model grace, humility and patience, truly connect and find a solution together. 

*Every single person, young and old make mistakes all the time. Children should be offered more grace not less! 

*Learning to choose right for ourselves is maturity. 

As parents we have to trust that in time through good example and unconditional love our children will make wise choices on their own.

*Home should be a haven in which a child is free to learn. 

*The person who catches us after a fall and loves us regardless is unforgettable! 

So is the one who shames and punishes us. 

As parents we get the opportunity to be THAT person for our children~ unforgettable! 

We choose what our legacy will be. 

*The good news is that we can choose daily to learn better and do better! 

Peaceful LOVE is ALWAYS better!